A Wort On A Beautiful Face

Many of the cars I enjoy looking at were designed by Italians.

• TR-6
• 1995 to 2003 BMW 5 series (E39)
• Alfa Romeo Spider Veloce
• Ferrari California
• Ferrari 458 (and many other Ferrari's)
• BMW M1
• You get the idea

Sometimes when a car is modified to get a bigger engine into it the result is pleasing.
Like when Carroll Shelby took an AC Ace:

And stuffed a V-8 engine in it with larger wheels (not my favorite paint job but you get the idea)

Here is a case where the modification for a larger engine was less than graceful:

When the Iso Grifo went from a small block V-8 to a big block V-8 the result was less than pleasing.
To quote an anonymous 11 year old "Dad, dad, look at this one! It has a table growing out of the hood"
For comparison here is the original:

I suppose someone said "I don't care how it looks make the car go faster"
Or maybe they actually liked how it came out - beauty is in the eye of the beholder I'm told.

If You Built a Rolling Joke...

It would look like this:

The Reliant Rialto was made from 1981 to 1998 by Reliant Motor Company in England. Boasting an 850 cc four cylinder engine with a fiberglass body.
More pictures here

The Rialto was built to replace this...

A 1979 Reliant Robin -
This "car" was built by the Reliant Motor Company in England from 1973 to 1981
In 1989 Reliant brought back the Robin name and produced a version of the vehicle until 2001.
73 MPG and a top speed in excess of 100 mph on only 37.5 bhp
Lots of better pictures can be found here.

The Robin was built to replace this...

A 1969 Reliant Regal
This "car" was built from 1953 to 1973.
65 MPG, just over 110,000 units sold - more than any other model.

The Regal was built to replace this...

Built from 1946 to 1953
Believe it or not the Regal had a spin-off
The "Bond Bug"

Built from 1970 to 1974 this vehicle had some Reliant running gear including the engine. Originally produced by Bond Cars Ltd.
The landspeeder from Star Wars was built on the chassis of a Bond Bug.
Tons of pictures here.

Now that I've documented more than 50 years of ugly what is the draw?
Why would someone subject themselves to driving or even riding in one of these?
Lots of them were sold to people who had good reasons for buying them.

• The vehicle was light weight and not very powerful so it could be driven in the United Kingdom on a motorcycle license.
• More than 65 MPG
• Small cars are better in crowded cities with narrow streets.
• Easy to park
• They are good to drive in straight lines.

Jeremy has some thoughts on the car. Some of them are even positive.
Jeremy put a four point harness in his - highly recommended.
Some people don't think the Robin is as bad as Jeremy says at least as far as rolling over is concerned.
One down side is safety. The thought of even doing 50 mph in a three wheeled, fiberglass, tip over-mobile worries me.
It's important to drive these in highly populated areas so that there is always someone to roll you back over close by.

Rollover Video One
 Rollover Video Two - The Stig Rolls a Robin
Robin Video - To Infinity and Beyond

This Must Stop - Coin Covered Cars

Coin Covered Cars - Why?

Possible reasons:

"I had a jar full of pennies and my car needed a paint job. It was the only sensible thing to do"

"My car needed some extra weight when driving in the snow so I used 25 pounds of glue and 180 pounds of pennies for better traction"

"This is just my way of sticking it to the government for even making this useless coin. I took 33,000 of them out of circulation"

Please submit your own "possible reasons"

Did you know that if you use pennies made from 1982 to the present it takes about 181 pennies to make a pound?

If he used 33,000 pennies that means he paid $330 (not including glue and time spent) when a cheap paint job is $100.

I'm guessing at how many pennies are covering the car in the above photo based on the numbers provided in this article related to a Camaro covered in coins.



If you think my numbers are all wrong feel free to write your own article.

Just in case you think these are isolated instances here's a link to a wackymobile page with 15 coin covered cars.

The version of this psychosis that put me over the edge is this Vette

I'm now a single issue voter. Any politician who will campaign to ban coin car coatings will get my vote.

Ugly With The Doors Open

This was suppose to be a show stopping, super amazing concept car - a "pure dream car".
From the side it's interesting but far from amazing.
The 2010 Bertone Pandion (no Pandion is not a group of Pandas)

But, with the doors open the key criteria for posting on this site was met.

The "What Were They Thinking" moment slapped me in the face.

Proceed to the rear view and the moment turns into - well, something more than a moment

What is all that garbage in the rear of this car?
The yellowwheels.com article tries to explain some of the thought behind the car.
 But the Top Speed article really captures the craptastic marketing techno-babble
 For your convienience (there are a lot of words in that article, if you like techno-babble or you enjoy being dizzy you'll want to read the whole thing) I'll quote the relevant part:

"The rear end features a striking array of crystal-like blades which are intertwined in various widths and lengths, protruding out into space. The rear of the car in fact has a disembodied or “pixilated” look, representing a tail-of-the-comet metaphor, as if the sheer speed of the vehicle is pulling the underlying, technical “Frame” rearward, away from the sensuous, flowing “Skin” above. This “dematerialization” phenomenon of the car is generated by the intrinsic motion of the form, which means the car looks like it is moving even when it is standing still."

If you have to explain it you've failed.

The Lumpymobile

I usually like cars with body lines that accentuate the wheels.
Proving once again that you can have too much of a good thing the "Tucker-Tremulis-Neidlinger-Kaiser-Fraser Sports Car" is as ugly as it's name.

Notice "Multiple exhausts in the rear serve cooling function too"

Alex Tremulis had a license to dream when he made this prototype. Alex was involved in several designs that were very unconventional.

Metro Prowler - Words Fail Me

It's best just to show the picture:

A Geo Metro came as a front wheel drive car with a three or four cylinder engine.
A Prowler came as a rear wheel drive car with a six cylinder engine

This car has side pipes - indicating at least four cylinders on this side of the car.

• Did they drop in an eight cylinder?
• Did they put in a four cylinder and the pipes are only on one side (I doubt this)
• Did they leave the stock engine and add nonfunctioning pipes

These are just a few of the questions this picture inspires.

It's Not The Car, It's The Paint

It's not an ugly car.

It's an ugly paint job.
Proving that an otherwise handsome automobile can be ruined by a tasteless paint job.
It's a 1930 Ruxton featuring front wheel drive built by the Moon Motor Car Company of St. Louis Mo.

I'd Like Fins on My Fins Please

It's hard to imagine a day when people would have thought this was a good idea.

The 1958 Packard hardtop coupe was the result of conditions that drove a less than pleasing result.

The double fins were made using fiberglass fin extensions.

The double headlights were part of the fiberglass body enhancement effort.

I'm not a fin hater but there is a right way, and a wrong way, to put fins on a car.

'82 Corvette Gone Limo

It is truely a sad thing when someone does this to a Corvette

You can own this one for just $24,000

Some might say that the '82 Corvette was so bad it deserved this kind of abuse.
For comparison, here's what an 82 Corvette looks like:

'72 Mustang Deserves an Apology

Someone worked hard, did a quailty job, and ended up with this:

For only $13,000 (cheap for the effort put into the car) you can drive this one on cruise night